The Seventh

Let's talk a little bit about the 4th of July.

Happy birthday America! 234 years old, almost as old as Raquel Welch for God's sake.

I'm glad tht America's not like tht one friends tht reminds everybody tht their birthday is coming up. "Hey, just wanted to let you guys to know tomorrow's my birthday!"
"Just want you to know, I'm not getting you anything."

Why is it tht we light fireworks off to celebrate the birthday of America? "Hey! It's the 4th Of July, what should we do to celebrate?"
"How about we just blow shit up?"
"I don't really see how thts a celebration..."
"Alright, we'll fire them in to the air then." This country needs another reason for unvoluntary suicide, also know as, you're too stupid to live and since we can't legally get rid of you ourselves, we'll just sell you explosives and let nature takes its course.

At this time of year, I always try to image what our Fore-Fathers would've wanted us to do on this day. Somehow, I don't see drinking next to spheres of gunpower with a pack of matches in your back pocket as it. Tht, or making 3-times the amount of food tht you cook on Thanksgiving and piling it into your face like you're about to go on one a Bear Grills week long adventures. But if you're soon going to be on an episode of SURVIVOR, then I guess it's ok.

Currently I'm in Kentucky for those of you who are unaware, and I would like to know: Why is everybody painting their face? Listen people, this isn't the world cup, and we're not a dirt poor 3rd-world country (little harsh?). This is America, home of apple pie (the dessert thts 400 carlories per slice), Baseball (The most boring sport in the world, even when you're hammered. Seriously, I'd rather watch Poker, at least people aren't spitting every ten seconds), and Nuclear Weapons (The weapons tht we start wars about, even though we threaten and scare the hell out of everyone else in the world with them). But in all seriousness, we are a great nation. We are extremely intelegent, and and usually............*sometimes when it benefits us*, have the best intentions. We are strong, and we will prosper, as long as Obama follows in the footsteps of the great president he replaces. (I really wish sarcasm came through on text.)

Happy Holidays Y'all.